Finding Out
by Dark Raven Wrote
Summary: Did you ever wonder how the Wizarding World found out about Harry's newest and most meaningful relationship? Well from the Creevey brothers all the way to Peeves, you're about to find out...warning, light slash - malexmale relationship. R&R, thanks.
1. The Reasonable Man

A/N: Just a series of hopefully humorous, short chapters, all probably a little under 1000 words, about how people found out about _the _relationship. I don't know how often I'll update, whenever im in a jokey mood I'll probably write another one. Anyone guess who the next one'll be of?

Words: 800+

Warnings: much fainting, bad language, and malexmale relationship - very light slash

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, and this disclaimer will not be repeated.

Finding Out

Chapter One: The Reasonable Man

Severus Snape considered himself to be a reasonable man. Some may have accused him of being cruel, many had in fact, but every so-called cruel act he had ever participated in had always had a reason. He felt discipline was needed rather strongly, true, and he considered rules more as binding laws but he was still a reasonable man. He thought certain lines must be drawn and he would happily go to any lengths to ensure that these lines were never crossed. He was often taunted about his appearance and he was usually shunned for his snide manner but he heeded no mind to these inconveniences as any reasonable man would. But some lines just _should not _be crossed.

Therefore, as you would imagine in the case of any caring Godfather, when Severus Snape, the ever reasonable man, walked into his godson's room to find said teenager in a rather intimate position on his leather couch, his reaction of falling into a dead faint was rather reasonable.

It wasn't until later that Severus Snape even bothered to find out who his godson's 'bed' partner was, the result being that he found himself, once again, in a dead faint. The conversation leading up to the aforementioned conclusion went something along these lines.

"I think your father would prefer you to be a little more discrete where your sexual wonderings are concerned, Draco." Snape said as he slid behind his desk and shuffled a few papers that were not stacked to his approval.

"I was in my own, private room. Is that not discrete enough?" The blonde teenager asked as he perched himself on the chair opposite his head of house. It is to be noted here that said chair was the closest to the door/escape.

"Perhaps a locking charm would not go amiss next time. It is always best to plan ahead. Never leave any openings for possible enemies." Snape lowered his voice almost to a murmur and looked at his student threateningly over his entwined fingers.

"Who in their right mind would use my sexual experimentations against me? I freely express my sexuality." Of course, this was Draco's polite way of stating that he had bedded at least half of the student body and that he was proud of this feat.

"Potter's name springs to mind. I shall warn you now that your father would not be pleased if news of your experimentations, as you put it, reached the _Profit_."

"Potter would never dare. I have too much I could use against him."

"Oh, and would you care to enlighten me?"

"Not particularly, Professor, no." Translated: _'I've put sweat and blood into finding out those secrets so you can bloody well do the same.'_

"I see. Well just beware certain threats, Draco."

"I wouldn't worry, sir, Potter certainly wouldn't dare spread anything about me as he'll suffer greatly as well. Is that all, Professor?" Severus Snape had known his godson, Draco Malfoy, since birth. During the long years he had spent with the boy as he grew up, the potions master had learnt to read the child. Right now he was reading into the slight tightening in the outer corner of his eyes and the pursing of the lips, his godson had just revealed something he though better left unknown.

"Was there anything you wished to tell me, Draco?" He asked, leaning forward, attempting to add a scarily Dumbledore-ish glint to his eyes.

"No, sir." Draco shot back in his chair and turned slightly towards the door.

"Fine, was there anything you did _not_ wish to tell me?" Severus Snape was now leaning so far from his seat that he was almost standing.

"N-no, sir." Draco was beginning to crack…Snape smirked.

"Who was that in your room with you?"

"…Pansy." The slight flicker of his eyes to the floor gave him away.

"No it wasn't."

"…Blaise." And again the flicker.

"No, I don't think it was someone from Slytherin. A Ravenclaw perhaps."

"Lovegood?" It was spoken as a question, Snape sneered down at his godson and stood to his full height.

"Maybe not a Ravenclaw either then. Although it seems unlikely, a Gryffindor then, as I know you would never chose a Hufflepuff."

"…Brown.?" Flick.

"No."

"…Patil?" Flick

"No."

"…Finnegan?" Flick

"No."

"…Grang…" Draco's face paled. "…Weasl…" He made a disgusted face and turned an ugly olive colour.

"Do we really need to go through every child in the school, Draco, you're acting like a petulant child. Who was it?" His godson dropped his chin and mumbled something so low he doubted even the floor tiles would have heard. "Speak up, boy."

Draco Malfoy had planned this moment in his head many times. He executed it perfectly.

"POTTER!" He shouted into his godfather's face, knocking him back. He then did what any true Slytherin would do with the ever present self-preservation characteristic.

He bolted for the door and ran.

And Severus Snape, the ever reasonable man, fell back on his chair in a dead faint.

R&R for continuation

Dark Raven 4426


	2. The Devious Slytherin

**A/N**: Well the idea for this one suddenly took me. So, as promised when i get sudden urges of plot, here is the next chapter, and slightly longer as an added bonus. Review if you please.  
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The Devious Slytherin**

"You're hiding something from me, Severus," Lucius Malfoy growled predatorily, his voice low, cold and threatening. He was looking up malevolently at the dark figure across the room through icy eyelashes and thick shadows, his demeanour reeking of distrust. A small, ragged house elf sat hunched at his side, waiting for its orders.

"No," came the slow reply, professionally enunciating every syllable so as to relay the meaning clearly, "no, I assure you, I'm not." Snape braced his Occlumency wards, Lucius was no genius in that particular field but you never could be too prepared.

"Oh, yes, I think you are." They held each others' gazes for minutes until the nervous house elf distracted its master, receiving a glare for its unfortunate tremble against his leg. "Sticky!" He yelled into the creature's ear and yanked its hand up further than it could reach, straining the shoulder socket cruelly. "Fetch the good Professor here a drink. Tea I presume, Severus." Despite the sudden, and disconcerting, change in Lucius' approach, Snape felt a twinge of unease that was only irritated by the heavy sarcasm in the man's words. He nodded nevertheless.

"Now, what was it you were telling me?" Lucius smirked - Snape supposed it was that closest he could reasonably get to a sugar sweet smile - and gestured to the chair across his desk. It was then that Severus felt the first aches of fear.

Lucius was plotting.

Which was never good.

Especially when said plot was aimed to entice _certain information _out of one such as yourself.

Severus perched down on the chair, which was far too squishy for his tastes anyway, and made his body lounge - elegantly - as if it were the picture of perfect comfort. He returned Lucius' smirk, although he feared it may have made it to his lips as more of a grimace.

"We were talking about Narcissa's arrangements for the Winter-"

"No no no. Good grief no. Why would I involve myself in that. I meant the other thing. The reason you came. Do tell." Lucius motioned for him to continue, his smirk turning to a sneer, showing pointed little canines and perfect incisors, which dripped like syrup. Now, Severus had knelt at the feet of the Dark Lord several times before he was vanquished and, yes, he felt the tingling squeals running down his spine and his brain almost sobbing to escape from the fear. But never had he been this terrified. This was a terror much worse than that of the Dark Lord. This was suspicion. This was cunning. This was motivated. This was cruel. This was Lucius.

"Ah yes, I've noticed a considerable increase in Draco's Potion-"

"No no, that's not it either. Must we do this the difficult way, Severus. I thought we were old friends." Friends wouldn't have been the word Snape personally used, he preferred looser terms such as acquaintance or perhaps colleague.

Snape's memory flashed momentarily to the reason he had come to visit the Manor originally. To inform Lucius of his sons new _association_ with a certain boy. Now, like the true Slytherin he was, he was turning to the techniques of self-preservation over his duty. Of course, he knew Lucius could do nothing about the situation, Draco was far out of his reach now but he would definitely prefer that it was he that told Lucius rather than Draco or - **God forbid! - **Potter.

Sticky chose this moment to pop - it was more of a bang really, must be one of the newer ones - with a tray and a Unicorn encrusted cup. Severus lifted the cup up to his eye-line, raising a speculative eyebrow and judging Lucius thoroughly for possessing such an abomination. But as he lifted the steaming beverage to his lips, warning signals clanged in his mind and his gut rolled over several nausiating times in caution. He stared down into the too-milky-than-acceptable liquid and sniffed tentatively at the gases wafting off. It smelt like tea.

Lucius was watching him over his hands.

Severus drank.

And then immediately knew he should have known better. Damned deceitful devious Slytherin.

Even through his raging snarl over at the other man, he felt a niggling pride at the actions that had tricked him and would have bowed his respect if he weren't so mad. That grudging admiration only made him more furious. And he wanted so desperately to _get even._

"Now, Severus, are we in the mood for talking yet?" Lucius asked condescendingly, his reply being a feral growl and the Unicorn cup shattering on his desk, as Severus huffed at the unfairness of it all and practically threw the blasted thing down. "Oh, stop being such a childish killjoy. You're lucky I didn't like that cup either, or else you'd feel my wrath!" Severus guffawed at the mental image of Lucius raising his wand dressed in a cape as he spoke those last melodramatic words.

"State your full name."

"Severus Tobias Snape." And so the grinding of the teeth in an attempt to keep them shut began on Snape's part, he had a sneaking suspicion they would be gone altogether when this interrogation was over with.

"What was you purpose for coming to visit me today?" That was just like Lucius to cut straight to the chase.

"To communicate with you on the subject of Draco Malfoy, your son." That seemed to satisfy the potion.

"What did you want to discuss about him?"

"His activities at Hogwarts." Again the potion let him rest. Severus began to wonder why he was procrastinating revealing this. Lucius would strangle it out of him eventually, either metaphorically or literally. Was it some sort of twisted revenge for being a conniving pureblood who managed to trick him into drinking Veritaserum. Yes, no need to think on it further, that was quite probably it. Severus settled in to wait for the next question.

"Curricular or extra--curricular?" Lucius was covering his steps.

"Extra-curricular."

"What _exactly _did you intend to come and say on the subject of Draco Malfoy's extra-curricular activities when you decided to visit Malfoy Manor?" Severus let a chortle slip from his lips at the precise question before the potion stole his mouth to answer.

"I decided it was my obligation, as the boy's Godfather, to inform you of his relations with the boy P-" Severus snapped his teeth painfully down on his tongue and felt the coppery tang of blood staining his mouth as a reward. Just from the gender he was looking thunderous, Snape certainly didn't want to mention the name at exactly that moment, he might find himself with blood leaking out of more place than his mouth if he did that. And he was sure that - once he got his hands on the boy - Potter wouldn't be the only one Lucius castrated. Severus shifted slightly in his seat, crossing his legs and keeping his teeth firmly clenched even though he could feel the name bubbling painfully in his throat. The potion wasn't contented at all. But he wanted to let Lucius absorb that piece of information.

It was in the next moment that Snape decided fate hated him.

Lucius raised his eyebrows and leaned forwards a little over the desk. Severus felt the convulsion to lean back and away from his animalistic scowl, teeth bared.

"Continue!" He ordered and there was nothing he could do to disobey.

"Potter. With the boy Potter." Snape spat.

Lucius looked like he wanted to explode or implode, Severus wasn't sure, but he wanted something to explode. And it did, his prized case of crystal Whiskey glasses shattering into millions of pieces. Snape felt a perk of compensation at the thought of just how much Lucius would regret that later.

"Of what nature?" Lucius' hands were white - whiter than usual - atop the desk and curled into tight fists, a crimson liquid seeping out sickeningly onto the wood.

"Of a sexual nature," Severus replied nonchalantly, inspecting his nails. "They're - who would they call it? - _seeing _each other." He felt a gleeful stirring of vengeance in the pit of his stomach.

Lucius deflated back heavily into his chair. "Get out!"

Snape swiftly glided, well it was more of a half-glide, half-skip really, and flung open the door unceremoniously. He paused before going through, however and asked without looking back over his shoulder, "How did you -" He was cut off.

"I find that house elves have entirely too flexible hands and their brains are far too perceptive not to be taken advantage of." Came the growl from the shadowed desk on the other side of the room. Snape slammed the door behind him as he went.

As he walked down the richly decorated hallway back to the entrance hall, he recognised the unquestionable sounds of objects shattering, banging against walls and exploding. But he knew Lucius was calm down in time. He would visit again…in a year or two.

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Review please and be patient for the next installment

Dark Raven 4426


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